Wow it's been a pretty loooooooong time since I've blogged now.. Now that I've got quite a bit of free time and tmr morning I've got no class, think i'll just pen something out now..
Was just surfing friendster pictures (yet again..) and i just saw some of my (now ex-) teammates pictures of us from our overseas competition trips. it reminded me of the games, the cool and fresh air, the shopping, the people, the bus rides, the flights, the wins, the loses, the t-shirts, the costumes, the bumps, the ice, the shoutings and the pictures..
Everybody knows why I quit the Singapore Women's Waterpolo Team.. But it's now like I totally BLAME my job.. i mean, I made the choice to take up the job too, and for that, i've not the time and energy to commit all the way and train for competitions and to take leave to go overseas.. To me, being a national athlete includes commitment, discipline and passion for the sport. I can't just go for one training a week (or within a month!) and then turn up for a competition, I know we're lacking in my position, but I just don't think it's right for me..
Well I have my losses and my gains. I just really miss being in a team where we'll always wanna squeeze a photo whenever we're just happy, or scream at each other nicknames that plainly reflects our affectionate gesture to each other, or just being in an all-girls' team!
I remembered last time when i had to drop my netball for my swimming during my sec 4 year (for obvious reasons like O's), it was real bad man... I really missed my whole team, i loved the times when we sweated (literally) together during running sets, shooting, playing, or just plain talking when we're changing from our shoes to our slippers after a match.. I missed the comaraderie, the fact that you're accountable to another and she is too, the issue of having someone else knowing your quirky habits (like bathing only once a day..haha!) and tease you during debriefing sessions.. arghh... just miss it all.......
On hindsight, now that I'm 3 nights free-er, I get to have...REST! i end at almost 8pm every night..and it's not from those kind of sedentary desk-top job where the only movements you have are your fingers and eye-balls. It's carrying 20kg< kids and throwing them around, it's shouting instructions across two lanes to reach to the centre lanes, over and above they being underwater doing the wrong thing, it's walking up and down 50m for up to 30 times each session, and it's definitely inclusive of prolonged exposure to our very own source of energy, shining bright with all its glory for 6 hours each time, pulling the temperatures to up to 36 degrees Celsius in a day. And that's just one day. I do that 6 days a week. I've got a colleague who works all 7. I hope now you can see how much of that REST I probably need!! heh.
But then again, I love my job. It's tough, yeah, but it's satisfying. Whenever I see a swimmer's strokes improve, my load gets lifted. When I see a kid's able to move up to the next level, I get inspired. Whenever I feel that the kid is more responsive to me and more 'ting hua' (chinese for teachable and always listens), I want to do more. The pay is good for me. The people (and boss!) are great. I get two mornings off (besides Sunday) so I seriously can't ask for a better job.
Now you can see why I wanna quit yet, I also don't really wanna get out. However, the girls' team are doing pretty well without me! I went back and I saw new faces - good ones too! heard they are really hard-core (going down early, getting into the pool early/on time!..wha if it were any of the seniors, the rest would probably think spoil market! haha.. but no, this is good..) which, i think, reminded me of ... me! I remember during my early days when I was training as a goalkeeper, I knew I was way lousy enough to go for any competition..i.e., i didn't think i was decent at all. I remember being called 'gung-ho' of the team..heehee.. I liked the pain..I liked the mistakes, it just showed me how much I can actually improve when corrected. At the end of the day, my vainity was served, staring at my bathroom mirror sometimes and admiring my.. ahem..(sorry, really full of myself now..) i think it was 4 pac.. haha!! okok i'll stop.
I liked working hard for something I believed in. Waterpolo was something that I woke up to, something that made (and actually still make!) my heart pound quite fast in excitment about 1-2hours before I go for training.. yeah seriously! I loved (and still love!) the game..the ball throws.. the saves...just even the sound 'PUNG!!' on my arm when i make a save on my side..or even a pluck! sigh..
K I'll just put up some photos for remeniscence sake..
