secret!

I've got a new crush! hee hee! ... not telling!...

i'm still here..

hi peeps-who-check-this-blog-once-in-a-while-after-Facebook (hee..).. Yeap i'm still here and very much alive. I kinda lost the will to blog the past year cos of what i've been going through but i guess i'm alright now!

Guess what, I've got a new car of my own! (yes Clare! come back and i'll drive you all around in it!) It's a black, Honda City..shiok..i love the wheels, upholstry and the fact that I can put whatever I want in it PERMANENTLY.. woo hoo!!

How's life been for me? Oh well I can very simply say that this year has passed SUPER fast for me.. Maybe it's cos I've been counting how many months i've been surviving single-hood... not that it's a bad thing.. but by counting the months, I realised I'm missing each day that I watch go pass. Now it's October already..reaching my b'day! which also means that Christmas is coming soon! It's been a full year since I started working full-time and it's been 6 mths since my break-up.

Sigh, yes, see? I still think about it. I'm actually over it and have actually moved on - in the sense that I don't have major meltdowns anymore or not at least that often.. And I'm looking forward to the next guy whom I'll probably meet - sooner or later. But I also can't say that i've totally really moved on cos I still think of him. Is that having moved on? Is that possibly love? gosh, that's such a big word, I don't even know if I qualify for it. I have really no idea..

I've nothing much to say, like i said, i've lost the will/inspiration to blog.. but aiyah, i'm actually surviving really well.. in fact, I'm not 'surviving', i'm LIVING. By God's grace I've been through the toughest part and I am - yes, I AM - coming out stronger in more ways than one (oops, except the physical part).

Emotionally, I've learnt not to hold on to something too tightly; mentally I've learned to see things in different perspectives and accept them; and most of all, spiritually, I've learnt a lot more about God. He - God - is really an awesome God. You know, during those dreadful nights when I prayed, I didn't ask for him back, neither did I pray for a new bf. Instead, I just asked for myself to get out of this misery - and out FAST.

Did i get it? NOPE. not at all. Not until SIX-FULL MONTHS down the road did I realise why God didn't just take me out of this sickly, heart-sunken, lonely and frustrating lifestyle. He taught me a lot of things during this time, that which, I would not exchange it for anything else in life. For the first time, I learnt patience, obedience, and having faith in the unseen. It's because of what I went through could I indisputably SEE God's hand in my life. People have told me that God does things in ways we'll never expect - that was so true. I prayed for a good friend - someone whom I can call buddy, someone whom I can basically call in the middle of the night to talk to, someone i never had before in my entire life. God didn't give me a 'best friend', instead, He PROVIDED many friends by my side, each and their appropriate time to be there for me when i really needed it.. each in their God-perfect, appointed time in my life.

Prayers - with a sincere heart and the right intentions - can really make things happen. I asked for comfort and company, God provided my retired Dad to be there every morning, even when I woke up with tears in my eyes after a horrible dream, not wanting to go all the way to Simei for another hot day at work, only to find out that good ole daddy would follow me all the way there and be with me. I prayed for things to do to occupy my lonely nights, God made me free for new salsa classes - in which I'm making new friends and at the same time, fulfilling my all-time dream of learning dancing. I wanted a car of my own. *POOF!*. It was as if almost that instant.

God Himself is truely so amazing. I'm full of praise for Him. Through my life, He has truely turned my sorrows into praise, my mourning into dancing (heh, almost literally). He could give me more than what I asked for, if not, exact. What more would He give, when I finally ask for THE man soon?