I was just having my lunch today at clementi Kopitiam when I saw a couple saying grace together a few tables in front of me. In the the middle of a super crowded coffee shop, they looked like they were in some bubble of tranquility. Both eyes were closed, holding hands under the table with their food in front of them - unafraid of any attack from the birds stalking nearby, and the guy was saying the prayer. When they finished, they guy quickly kissed the girl on the cheek, surprising her before she opened her eyes.

Aww... how chweet.

One little sin, what harm can it do?
Give it free reign and soon there are two
Then sinful deeds and habits ensue -
Guard well your thoughts, lest they control you.
--- Our Daily Bread, 24 April.

A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest -
and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

Where did you think the second poem came from. None other than the Good Book itself! Proverbs 24:33-34. Sounds like it just came from any other 'self-help' book huh.. Anyway, was just pondering over these poems and saw myself in that position. I'm now just WAITING for my uni application. Also just WAITING for my scholarship application. I'm literally 'folding my hands' everyday (and even at work too!) and I'm kinda almost just WAITING for things to happen. sigh.

I'm actually quite ok about my future..somehow I feel as if it's been taken care of already. Don't really need to worry about what post-grad I'll be doing, which uni I'll be at..and more, WHERE'S the money gonna come from. I believe it's Him who makes me feel this secure. But the thing is, it doesn't look exactly right. It's like, in the eyes of the world, people always advise to DO SOMETHING about your life. There's always 'something' that you can or should be doing now to move on.. it's like, you can't 'sit on your fat a** and expect something to drop on your lap' kind of thing. The problem is, that's exactly how I'm feeling now!

Sigh. But if i wanna think about it, I can be worried about all those things. Especially MONEY. A Master's degree is no joke. Inclusive of everything that you could possibly think of, it could easily amount to $140,000! I know money shouldn't be a problem, can always get a loan from a bank or something, but still, I have to pay it all back, and it's gonna be that huge sum.

My dad just passed me this book called 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad'. It's a book on how not to have to work for money, but how to have money work for us! haha.. Aiyah, at the end of the day, it's what brings food to the table isn't it? Then whether you enjoy it or think that what you do to get it there is worth it is another thing.

Sigh. pray for me, guys.

the power of Nestle Milky Bar.

me: So, did you practice your piano for today?

Claryn(6 yrs old): *proudly* No!

*I dangle Nestle Milky Bar in her face*..

me: you sure you don't want this? Cos if you don't play this next song well for me, your two other sisters and I will eat it in front of you..

*Claryn gets uncomfortable. Starts to play the song with her very best try.*

me: Wow! Very good! For that, you can have a Milky Bar!

Claryn: I dowan already. *smiles*

long

i've forgotten how warm your hand feels..

new life, new days ahead..

hey peeps..

It was Easter over the weekend and we just had the Easter choir performance. It was a huge success. Truely want to praise God for the unexpected packed sanctuary on Maundy Thursday's service and an encouraging array of familiar faces again on saturday for the second performance. Truely praise God for the marked improvement on Saturday's singing and solos and in-between. Truely thank God for the fantastic message given by our very own founding Pastor - Pastor David Wong.

Unfortunately, the friends whom I invited couldn't grab this chance to experience the wonder that night. But it's alright! There's gonna be a few more performances down the road throughout the year, one of the highlights is the re-staging of our 2003's musical on Jim Elliot - 'Love Above All' at UCC, NUS in the middle of this year! Yu Khing, you'll definitely be invited for that too, don't you worry! Thanks for the encourgement for my performance over the weekend!

I must say I'm quite exhausted with the whole ra-ra of the Easter choir performance and all.. Now that the new week is starting I can go back to my quiet - and personal - time with my Master. I guess I probably need to retreat somewhere.. hmm.. maybe at Chinese Garden tmr morning before my piano lesson. That place is truely inspiring. That calmness that time in the morning. That serenity. That peace.

The weekend was quite exhausting too, with some changes in my life. Now I might sound a bit here and there with no links in-between and you might be thinking what in the world i'm talking about. But...who cares? heh. It's my blog...you need not understand everything..maybe if you're one of my close friends you might read... and just pray for me..

Aunty LL adviced me to "delight [myself] in the LORD, and He will give [me] the desires of my heart" (Ps 37:4).
"You need to find your way in the LORD first, be happy in the LORD first. Then, you'll be able to take on whatever comes to your path later on." Thank you Aunty LL for giving me that timely reminder. I think that's what I've been missing out in. All along I've been searching for acceptance and refuge in man, but all this while I've been missing out the main Man, Himself. I'm now trying to do that everyday, seeking Him. But I need some earthly help to pull through this. Let's meet for lunch again this week, shall we?

gonna need to sleep for now.. nights peeps!

Can God die?

"little girl: Can He, really?

voice: Yes, He can.

little girl: But if He's GOD, how could He? You say He's the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He is infinite. How then, could that happen? Unless...

voice: Humans are finite. Indeed, therefore, humans can die. God was in human form, the Man we know as Jesus. And so yes, He died.

little girl: WHY then, did He do it?"

The story goes on as everyone might have known that Jesus died to save the souls - only of THOSE who believed in Jesus Christ Himself - from eternal condemnation, i.e. Hell. Why? Because He loved us.

The conversation above was just a little of what my Pastor spoke of on Maundy Thursday's service. He then went on and related of the movie 'Saving Private Ryan'. To put the long story short, it was about a team of soldiers risking their lives to save one little guy. The crux of the story was when Tom Hanks, the leader of the team, was fatally wounded. He called Private Ryan to his side and said two words: Earn this.

The movie was almost perfect if not for those two words.

Pastor then went on and explained the contrast with the greatest love story of all time - Jesus' death on the cross. He died for US. We didn't deserve it. He didn't have to do it, but He chose to do it.

He CHOSE to do it.

We didn't have to earn this sacrifice. If God didn't do it, how in the world would we be saved?
Just imagine that.

"He could have summoned all of Heaven's armies to His side, and yet." For "the wages of sin is death," and SOMEONE had to die. Jesus - GOD - took that place. For us.

"Greater love has no-one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

As I heard this simple, vivid message that took a mere 8mins to share, the story of Easter was never more real to me than this. I've heard the stories, read the Book, watched the movies... but it just took 8 mins from a man who obviously had the power and authority to speak with such eloquence and simplicity to illustrate the senario ever so realistically to me, as if I was really brought back in time to 33 A.D.

Praise God.
-----------------------------

I wanna close with the lyrics of the song, 'Why', that I posted exactly one year ago in April. It's about the time of the Crucifiction related through the eyes of a young girl.

We rode into town the other day,
just me and my daddy.
he said I’d finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course, was not quite as wild.

We heard a crowd of people shouting,
and so we stopped to find out why.
There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes.

So I said, “Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows.
Daddy please, can’t you do something?
He looks as though He’s gonna cry.
You said He was stronger than all of those guys;
Daddy, please tell me why.
Why does everyone want Him to die?”

Later that day, the sky grew cloudy,
and Daddy said I should go inside.
Somehow he knew things would get stormy.
Boy was he right, but I could not keep from wondering
if there was something he had to hide.

So after he left, I had to find out.
I was not afraid of getting lost.
So I followed the crowds to a hill
where I knew men had been killed,
and I heard a voice come from the cross.

And it said, “Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.
Father please, can’t you do something?
I know that You must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size.
Father, remind me why.
Why does everyone want me to die?
Oh, when will I understand why?”

My precious son, I hear them screaming.
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming.
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus, this hurts me much more than you know,
but this dark hour, I must do nothing,
though I’ve heard your unbearable cry.
The power in your blood destroys all of the lies;
soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look, there below, see the child
trembling by her father’s side.
Now I can tell you why...
she is why you must die.

tearing up all over

complicated.
i'm tearing up all over.
LORD, I'm so far away from you. You didn't move, I did.
What am I to do? Where to go? Which to choose? what... WHAT to DO, really??

What should I pray for? ask for?
I need patience.. I need control... I need to have more time with my Master..

Why do I come back to this point again? why.. is there a choice for me at all? Can I actually choose one over the other? Lord, what do You intend to do? what am I suppose to learn?