it's not fair.

how can I ever trust you to do anything again.
how could you EVEN do this?! That thing meant a lot to me.. especially when it was from some people who are very dear to me.

I should have checked. I knew it.

And now, you 'accidentally' threw it away.

Of course, you're not to blame entirely..I'm at fault too. My mum told me to check them before throwing them all away.. I was tired that night.. thought could do it all the next morning..so left it as it is -- where i REMEMBERED WHERE IT ALL WAS.

Now it's gone. For real.

sigh.

Merry Christmas!!

Hello everyone!!
Just wanna wish all readers a very blessed Christmas and a great 2006 ahead!

It's been really tiring for me man..I performed at church last night in the choir.. think i was a tad bit too shiny in my shawl.. was actually the one Kenley gave me from HK! everyone liked it! =) then we had friends who came over to my place after that and we played taboo all night.. wah damn tired laughing and screaming the answers - mostly spastic answers.. haha.. opened presents at 2 am and slept at 3am. Had to wake up at 8am for choir performance again at church today --was real DRAINED! so drained that my right leg couldn't hold me (geez..) then it hurts at my knee!! couldn't walk properly cos of that and cos I was simply zombie-fied lah. then 'promped' on my bed immediately after service till about 4, then went to sam and alicia's for tea and play with baby ian! then came home for dinner, relatives came over. now i'm here, slopped in front of my tv watching Sweet Home Alabama and trying to book tickets for tmr aftn for my family to watch Narnia.. argh.. just remembered i've got trg tmr morning.. arggh...

oh yeah did i mention?

I got picked up by some modelling agency about 3 days ago while walking in town. They want me to be in either FHM or Maxim (or is that how you spell it? max-xeem). I just gave my no. for other mags or commercials lah. But I told him no for FHM. dun think I should be featured in that lah. just dun feel right.

the presents are under the tree!

YAY!! I can already feel the Christmas mood coming!! once i see presents under the tree, the feeling just gushes right into me and i get that warm and fuzzy feeling all over again!! I'm so excited whenever i've got gifts for all my loved ones.. I love the feeling of giving something to someone cos then it makes their day, and (yes as cliche as it sounds) it makes MY day too.. I like to see that I can make them happy..especially this time of the year..

I've got gifts for everyone in this household - no one's left out! - not even the girlfriend (let alone my boyfriend - ah this one got TWO gifts ah! but a there's a twist to it, which i would tell AFTER Christmas! heehee) is left out, and not forgetting my dear helper of the house! She was so shocked that in her Indonesian accent, she literally exclaimed so loudly, 'FR ME??!! ... ReALLY??' then i could just hear the wide beam on her face as she saw her gift laid nicely wrapped under our tree. It just makes me feel so happy inside when I made someone feel special, someone feel .. not-forgotten.

the pic above are my presents for (from L-R) Kenley (#1), kenley (#2), Mad (floor), Nati (standing) and Dad and mum. Gor gor's and Sam's are fragile and therefore are upstairs in my room.. they're huge too.. i dun dare to bring downstairs..

Yesterday, Kenley and I were at IKEA buying stuff, we met Ker Wei (current national guy's waterpolo goalkeeper), Mr Matthew Tan (current one-of-the-big-shots in the Singapore Waterpolo Federation) and Melvin Seet (one of the best goalkeepers I've ever known - also known as The Wall). Kenley said that we met 3 Waterpolo Greats at IKEA man.. then he corrected himself and said, 'No, 4. Me'.

You could literally hear my eyeballs rolling in my sockets.

haha.. but anyway, jokes aside, I was glad to have met up with the last guy..not heard or seen him ever waterpolo IVP. He has slimmed down a lot man.. aiyoh.. so sad for such a talented person to retire so fast.. I know he probably didn't go national team, not because he couldn't make it (which I doubt so..he's DAMN GOOD!) but i guess.. maybe it was politics or something i dunno... but wasted lah.. it could be nice to have one of the SEA Games Gold Medals in ur pocket for memory..

Wha this year.. i think i've spent about $300-$400 this month alone.. including food and transport lah.. but still, it's almost how much I earn every month man.. I've been saving just to buy good gifts for all..and I did it! =) so happy happy happy....

polo trgs, Christmas shopping and more polo trgs.

I've not been blogging for about a week or two now.. yes the Christmas tree is finally up..not exactly decorated to its fullest but..by Christmas Eve should be there already lah..

This whole week I've been at polo trainings every morning and night.. monday was night training..not so bad..lots of swimming tho.. tues-fri onwards had 6.15-8am training at Toa Payoh.. heh..and I actually went for ALL morning trainings..together with Ade, Net and Jac..we were the 4 consistent ones every morning.. it was mostly swimming and swimming with ball too.. wha i must tell you what an ordeal I've got with swimming-with-ball sets. Firstly, you gotta try to control the ball (for those non-players, this is like swimming the free style but this time, you're 'dribbling' a polo ball in front of ur head) and by controlling the ball means either kicking really fast and pulling short and fast strokes with ur arms... OR .. you could use ur forearms to push it from side to side if it sways. I, the lousy swimmer, took the latter method of course.. was too tired to swim fast and do those short strokes. SO..as a result, my right fore arm (where you've got ur bone from ur elbow to ur wrist) is red and rough -- it's bruised. I've been using it to knock the ball (that kept drifting to my right side, hence using the right hand to swerve it back) and I think there's a slight abrasion. sigh.

Before that, my injury #1 was my right arm - I couldn't even pass a ball. Have been going for physio for three days straight (oh yeah, Eunice, I saw you leading ur children's camp over at the Kallang Mac's! wanted to say hi but you entered the kitchen of Mac's and had to bring the children behind the counter for their tour.. so i left lah..) anyway, my physio therapist is really good..and nice! she really knows how to fix the problem exactly by testing where it hurt judging from my limited movements. oh yeah, i went into the whirl pool too.. supposed to enter a super cold one (15 degrees C) for 3 mins, then quickly change over to a HOT tub (about 37 deg C) for another 3 mins. and then you change over and this repeats for 6 times. 18mins in all. haha.. obviously the lousy me made a LOTT of noise when i entered the cold one (I couldn't even breathe man!!) then when i went into the hot one, it 'stung' my skin at first, but then after that i didn't want to get out.. haha so they said i could stay in the hot one for the rest of 10 mins. haha.. i loser lah.. this is supposed to be good to remove the lactic acid from my vessels (cos of all that constrictions and dilations.. ) especially when i'm aching all over and am super tired.. I'm planning to go again and do the full 6 changes next time..

anyway, oops.. sorry went a bit side tracked.. yeah so that's my injury #1. injury #2 is actually all that muscle ache around my shoulder joints (you know when you try to do push up..those muscles near ur armpit..yeah..damn pain)..i couldn't even lift my L/R arms up and sleep. went for Sport Massage for that and it helped a lot. Injury #3 would be my arm now...all red and sore.. and soon, by next week before Christmas, injury #4 would be heart -- heart pain from spending too much money.. heh.. yeah i should be controlling too lah.. need to save up for Commonwealth.....!!!

Oh YEAH.. ARghhhh.. we STILL haven't got any sponsors for our Commonwealth Games!!! sigh.. but TeamSingapore said they might help out a bit. But chances are, don't think we can get the full subsidy.. oh well, if they could help us pay about half i'll be grateful already. aye, it's a LOT of money lor.. sigh.

okok .. I think i should stop complaining.. aiyoh.. I think my bf read also sian already.. in reality complain, here in cyber-reality also complain.. tsk tsk.. what kind of gf am i man..

K lah.. I a 'bit' tired now.. (yah from all that swimming plus with ball, plus saving about.. 50 balls tonight? no.. not tired at all.. ) i wanna catch up with my sleep.. YAY! tmr dun need to wake up so early!! it's a Saturday!!.. good good. ... aiyoh but then got coaching then got waterpolo match at tp then.....

guess it'll never end huh. Can't wait for Christmas..anyhow. =)

what's with Friendster..

argh.. i can't seem to be able to view who's viewed me on Friendster.. haha.. that's quite pathetic.. aiyah.. just damn bored these days lah.. i've gone through every function in Friendster.. see my friends and their pics, read their testimonials, updated my pictures, changed my captions.. what else can i do on friendster? oh yeah, i just submitted a question on how come I couldn't view who viewed me.

anyway, I've finally bought the Christmas tree. It still looks kinda bare in my hall.. like my Dad said, a Christmas tree reflects the attitude/enthusiasm of its caretakers... he was just saying .. you go into any shop in town..the amount of decorations on the tree in that shop reflects how much effort the shop keepers bothered to go decorate it right.. or you just come into my room.. the mess tells a story.

hmm.. yeah maybe i should start packing my room.. maybe i should start grooming my dogs on a daily basis.. (i love Rufus' hair.. so soft and smooth..FAR better than any soft toy/pillow)..maybe I should start doing my 3 sets of 4x10 counches + 4 sets of 10x2 push-ups (start slow first lah ah.. dowan to break any ligaments/limbs..) . it's high time i better get back to shape! That day I went for a polo game.. I was TOTALLY out of shape man!! I couldn't jump high enough, I wasn't fast enough, I DUCKED from balls -- that's NOT supposed to be the case for a goalKEEPER!.. sigh.. It's been 2 whole months since I trained .. thanks to 2 injuries and 5 exam papers. and now, geez, I'm a whole lot slower and (i think) 2 kg lighter (nope, not lost weight, it's previous muscles turned to FATS). hahah.. ok maybe i'm exaggerating.. but i just feel so.. so LOUSY now.. when i got into the pool and did sets, my gosh.. i was not only the slowest.. but super lathargic.. thank God for mental strength that pulled me through.

speaking of mental strength, I wanna do an attachment with the Sports Psychology Department of Singapore .. just sent an email to enquire.. oh yeah we still haven't got any news from the sponsors yet.. but now that the SEA Games people are back, should be getting something soon..

You're Beautiful

hmm.... I have that song stuck in my head now.. .

er...can I buy that Christmas tree?

It's 18 days to Christmas and my family hasn't even gotten a tree yet!! but I think we'll be going down to IKEA to buy one today..one of those REAL pine trees that exude that therapeutic fragrance .. really nice to wake up and go out of my room and greeted by the smell .. that was how it was the first time we bought a real tree, and that's how it was ever since.. can't wait!

How's everyone? (not like i'm speaking to a whole lot of people reading my blog...) but anyway, i feel as if the exams had torn me away from civilization that those 5 weeks of slogging it out in the library felt like 2 years.. i really hope i'll do better this sem.. I wanna graduate, yet also wanna do honours.. but if i can, I hope to do Masters.. but then again, do I REALLY need Masters to do what I want?? thing is, WHAT do i wanna do??

Yes some of you have heard that i'm interested in child and sports psychology.. i think i'm more interested in the latter. Pay may not be very good, i expect that. But I think, you know at the end of the day, I think it's HOW you make out of what you have that counts. If you are happy with a million bucks, good for you. If you can be happy with $3k a month, even better. I think, it's not what you have that makes one happy, it's actually HOW one can MAKE him/herself happy. yup.. was trying to avoid the cliche terms of 'Be contented with what you have' phrase.. but I think it's really true.

People, there's gonna be only two ways after death : Heaven or Hell. This is truth, whether you LIKE it, or NOT. And what's more, there's this thing called 'ETERNITY' after death. So, lesson of the day, you'll be spending eternity either in Heaven, or in Hell. Simple as that. Now why did I suddenly plunge into preachy-style all over? this is in relation to what I wanna do now! I mean, why slog it out trying to earn AS MUCH $$$ as I can, try to please the whole world, try to look better than other wearing the most trendy set of clothes, try to get to a more prestigious university, try to get a higher qualification, try to choose between a 2m Christmas tree or a 12 feet one...(ok that one was out of point).. but, sigh.. Why? what for? so i can live comfortably? to that I can gain 'respect'? k lah, yes, sometimes the world works like that - looking at the supericialities..the 'Give-them-what-the-world-wants-and-you-can-get-what-you-want' attitude. But I wanna thank God that this is not so when it comes to Judgement Day. Not to say that I'm super holy or even 'more' pure than others, I horrible - a sinner (yes, sorry some Christian jargons used.. but it's true) and it all boils down to HOW I lived my life that I'm judged by God.

haha.. took pretty long to get to my point right. but that's also for me to express my concern for some people i've seen doing all the above.. trying so hard to get all this... all this.. TEMPORAL stuff in this world.. how long can we all live? huh? average? 80 years? 90? sometimes if you're super healthy or what, 100 maybe? ok. so let's compare that to AFTER death = ETERNITY. Maths students: what's 100 divided by infinity? ...... *calculate?* aiyoh dun need to calculate lah.. everybody knows that ANYTHING divided by infinity is ZERO. That's right, NOTHING! our life here on earth wouldn't even be considered like a tiny SPECK of dust on our head.

Now that Christmas is coming, there're many mission trips scheduled to go overseas to spread the Gospel. I think that's the best give anyone can give - cos..it LASTS FOREVER. okok I'll stop the Christian talk .. some of you might have gotten gross all over already and probably even irritated with all this kind of talk.. but you see what i mean..sigh.. not that i wanna accuse or what, but I think non-believers are pretty much caught up with their own self-proclaimed philosophies in life, their own beliefs on how life could be determined by themselves, their 'hey-I-have-experienced-so-much-so-this-is-the-way' kind of attitude in life. When they're (either forgetting or) missing out on the TRUTH! it's so simple as just to accept Jesus Christ and believe in him.. but it's just so sad that they just DOUBT it.. sigh. it's a real loss..

Anyway, this Christmas, I hope the Word gets to more people out there. especially those who haven't even HEARD about Christ.

UPDATE on signs of End Times: Toxins have entered river in China. All water sources ceased. If anyone drinks, it's poison. How long till solved? Don't know. May take years. Toxicated may reach the sea and hence infect wildlife and surrounding countries.

my gosh. this time it's the huge country, China. the most densely populated country in Asia (and I'm not sure if it's also in the world.. forgot..) but.. yeah you get my point.

ok sorry to cut short (actually quite long aye..) I'm going off to buy Christmas tree now!

I'm BACK!!!

finally ... after 4 days of walking all over Singapore at SYFC camp.. 16 km from yio chu kang all the way to chua chu kang on foot.. in the terrain... wha.. shiok ah.. as soon after i finished it.. the feeling was good... tho damn dead.

EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER.. now i can TRUELY just lay back and enjoy myself. can't wait to bring my doggies to the beach ..at NIGHT (yeah.. poor huskies lah.. cannot 'sun' them too much)..(brought them to the dog run yesterday..but no doggies lah.. poor them..boring playground for them).
Can't wait to do some domestic work like.. WATCHING TV. haha.. no lah.. maybe bake some cookies (and fatten up kenley..if he dares to eat them..which he will..by no choice. =P) and cakes or brownies..
I also wanna go shopping -- WINDOW shopping, that is.. not enough money lah.. also need to save up for my commonwealth games next year.. sigh.. until now still no news on sponsorship.. *praying very hard for that!*
And yes.. gonna start TRAINING REALLY hard.. we're gonna have 6 am trainings soon!! plus night.. plus everyday.. woo hoo...

k it's a little late now.. was just happily surfing Friendster until now (still gonna go back there to loook at pics a bit more..) and it's 1.45 am.. supposed to meet kenley for movie tmr morning.. (haha.. see how desperate i am to let loose.. ) .. no lah.. supposed to be lunch ..cos i've got coaching.. (sigh.. yeah looks like i'm also busying myself up..). so i think i'll blog more another time..plus pics of dino and rufus!